America isn't like other places on earth, and Americans aren't like anyone else on earth. We never say the quiet part out loud, but you know full-well what people are up to by their actions. Recently, my mother went into Hospice care, a program with zero dietary restrictions, full "Do. Not. Resuscitate." and it got me wondering at what level this place is a home for people to "die naturally" and at what level is it "assisted suicide"?

It can be hard to read between the lines on things like this with American culture. We don't want to tell anyone they're going to "unalive" soon. We don't want to face it, yet we face it though the lens of extremely jaded hospice nurses who speak death as if it's expected, even... wanted.

"It's time for her to go"

Is it? According to whom? Them? Her? Her insurance? A doctor? Every doctor? It's spoken almost as if someone ethereal knows but no one here knows. God knows? I didn't see God's name on any of the hospital or hospice paperwork. Does he work here? If he does, does he have an itinerary? When does he get off of his lunchbreak?

Two or three times I've been pulled aside and asked, almost like a shot through the veil. "What is it that you're doing, here?" chair squeak and evil eye

I'm taking care of my mother. I'm giving her what she asks for, I'm providing her the care that can be administered. Is she dying? Can anyone give me a straight answer, or is it their intention to kill her by feeding a diabetic sandwiches and sweet tea (which they do). My mom's heart has been in this condition for at least three years. Is NOW the time she dies? If it isn't at least preventable in the moment by monitoring her blood sugar, then I consider it "assisted suicide", and she wouldn't want that. She doesn't want that.

If my mother dies from a diabetic coma surrounded by nurses when she's in a hospice ward for cardiac issues, someone is getting sued. She can faint and die at home and no one would prevent it. She can faint and die here and no one would prevent it.

What is it YOU'RE doing, here?

Is this a Futurama-esque "suicide booth" in kind words or is this actually somewhere you intend for her to be for a few months, living as she lives, and taking the time she has left? What is the purpose of a hospice? To kill your loved ones or let them die slowly of their own volition? BOTH?! Yes? Maybe!?

Say the quiet part out loud, fellow Americans. Sit me down and give me the grit. No one there will. It's all "up in the air" bullshit.

"It's on God's time." 🤔

"Would you like some cake with your normal pepsi?"

SHE'S DIABETIC. THAT ISN'T "GOD'S TIME", BRO.

#self