A Christmas Coral: Great Books That Never Were 🪸

A Christmas Carol. In Prose. Being a Ghost Story of Christmas is a famous Charles Dickens novella from 1843. It is not as good as the Muppet Christmas Carol special film (1992) of the same work (the one with Michael Caine in it).

However, better yet is the 1991 classic A Christmas Coral by novelist Dick Charles. This was his last work he ever had published, for he was abducted by aliens in 1993 and hasn’t been heard from since. Thus, this beautiful book is a testament to his existence prior to abandoning life on Earth.

Just Keep Swimming in A Christmas Coral

“It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour. Oh, except whooping cough syndrome. That’s pretty contagious…”

The story follows the life of Ebenezer Scurvy in 1762, a pirate whom is a bit of a miserable prick. However, when he’s mercilessly attacked by a great white shark the blood loss leads to him viewing the world in a more upbeat way.

As he floats about in the ocean with a limb missing, he recalls his life in a series of hallucinations. The chapters go like this:

1. Prologue
2. Birth
3. Childhood
4. Formative years at Yarr University
5. SHIVER ME TIMBERS!!!
6. Recession
7. More recession
8. Plague outbreak
9. Scurvy outbreak
10. Pirating years
11. Shark attack and limb loss
12. Further pontifications
13. Death and absorption by the ocean
14. Epilogue

A Christmas Coral is notorious for its tediousness. The work is 1,100 pages and rambles a fair bit. It also makes references to more modern life, which is somewhat anachronistic given the work is supposed to be set in 1762.

“For it is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child Himself. And if you’re unaware about that reference, I’m on about Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.”

Many literary critics were at pains to point out Macaulay Culkin could not possibly have starred in Home Alone circa 1762 as:

• Macaulay Culkin wasn’t alive
• Cinema didn’t exist

To set the record straight on this matter, Professional Moron reached out via telepathy to Dick Charles for a comment. He declined to comment. As such, his legacy is in ruins and this book is stupid woopid.

Addendum Thesis: Is The Christmas Coral Even Related to Christmas in Any Way?

We’re ending this review on a mini-dissertation, for there’s much scholarly musing over whether A Christmas Coral is, indeed, a work of Xmas-related literature. There are three core postulations:

1. Yes, it is
2. No, it is not
3. Maybe

Compelling arguments, all, but we tend to side on the front of “maybe” as it’s the most apathetic. Yet, on reflection, we feel we may change our stance to “yes” as that’s the most nonsensical, but plausible.

We mean, it’s there in the title: A Christmas Coral.

The work may not go on to have anything to do about Christmas, or corals for that matter, but it’s there in the name and, therefore, that is a convincing argument (if one a tad childlike in its reasoning). Plus, the book references Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone and that’s about as Xmas as it gets, eh?

📚 We Are All Made of Molecules by: Susin Nielsen

Thirteen-year-old Stewart is academically brilliant but socially clueless. Fourteen-year-old Ashley is the undisputed "It" girl in her class, but her grades stink. Their worlds are about to collide when Stewart and his dad move in with Ashley and her mom. "The Brady Bunch" it isn't. Stewart is trying to be 89.9% happy abou...

https://bookblabla.com/book/we-are-all-made-of-molecules

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Thirteen-year-old Stewart is academically brilliant but socially clueless. Fourteen-year-old Ashley is the undisputed "It" girl in her class, but her grades stink. Their worlds are about to collide when Stewart and his dad move in with Ashley and her mom. "The Brady Bunch" it isn't. Stewart is trying to be 89.9% happy about it, but Ashley is 110% horrified. She already has to hide the truth behind her parents' divorce; "Spewart" could further threaten her position at the top of the social ladder. They are complete opposites. And yet, no matter their differences, they share one thing in common: they--like the rest of us--are all made of molecules. Written in alternating voices, Susin Nielsen deftly explores family tragedy and family ties; sibling rivalry and union; and adolescent confusion and revelation.

When the Museum is Closed is a quirky story of loneliness, love, freedom and belonging, translated from Japanese to English.

#Reading #WomeninTranslation #books #bookstodon

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A young Japanese woman at edge of cover staring at a bluish-green had of a sculpture of Venus

If you love a fantasy & a good whodunit, these 3 recent reads give you both.

- The Raven Scholar by Antonia Hodgson: murder into the middle of a deadly imperial tournament.
- The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett: Holmes-and-Watson detective duo
- The Silverblood Promise by James Logan: follows a disgraced young noble to uncover who really killed his father.

3 worlds, 3 cases, no idea who did it until the end. 🔍 🗡️
#Bookstodon #Fantasy #Books #AmReading #Reading #FantasyBooks #Inkbreaker

Phenomenal book that illustrates how we’ve let the automobile industry make our cities less livable.
#bookstodon #reading #books

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Book cover of Life After Cars: Freeing Ourselves from the Tyranny of the Automobile by Sarah Goodyear, Doug Gordon, and Aaron Naparstek

Just finished "Resurrection" by @Owen_G_Richards and really enjoyed it. Come payday I'll definitely be getting some more from the series. For anyone who's interested, this is my wee review on Goodreads. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/8887107668 #bookstodon #reading #scifi #scifiReading

📜

Hidden manuscripts reveal medieval reading habits

🔗 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3eqj5940d4o

#Reading #History #Histodons #Books #Literature #Bookstodon #Booksky

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"Dad got his gun from the City of Cleveland. That’s where Mom got hers, too. Both are tools of policing, the Cooper family business."

In our excerpt from THE BLACK SHIELD, Wilbert L. Cooper recounts how his mother Gayle joined the police force: https://longreads.com/2026/08/25/the-black-shield-wilbert-l-cooper/?utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social

#Longreads #Reading #Books #Cleveland #Police #Memoir #Policing

Book Promotion: MONSTERS: The story of a teenage girl who's turning into a monster - literally. "Excellent! A gripping dystopian future world." "Action-packed and well-plotted, this is a real page turner." #audio #amreading #ku #genetics #military #boost #inprint #reading #monsters #corporations #audiobook #mutants #epic #mustread #manchesteruk #goodbooks #crimefiction #fedibookfair #ebook #readers #dystopian #writing #bookworms #legendary #detective #kindle #police… https://taupress.com/monsters-s1?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon

https://kolektiva.social/@pivic/117064901162984889

Today Jamie Fisher's debut book—most likely the best non–fiction book of 2026—is published!

It's about Elliott Smith. Here's my review of the book.

#JamieFisher #ElliottSmith #biography #NonFiction #books #book #reading #music #MusicTips @bookstodon@a.gup.pe @bookstodon@fedigroups.social

Nick boosted

Niklas Pivic » 🌐 2026-08-09
@pivic@kolektiva.social

https://reviews.pivic.com/jamie-fisher-nobody-broke-your-heart

I've reviewed what is most likely the non-fiction book of the year: Jamie Fisher's 'Nobody Broke Your Heart: an intimate biography of Elliott Smith'.

This is a book that is greater than the sum of its parts. It actually widened my thought world about Smith's music, something I can say about very few music books.

Do not miss this book! Order a copy now.

#book #BookReview #JamieFisher #books #reading #ElliottSmith #music #MusicTips @bookstodon@a.gup.pe @bookstodon@fedigroups.social

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The book cover: a photograph of Elliott Smith smiling, standing against a grey wall.

#ICYMI what I was writing on my #blog on a day like today back in 2022.

> "Items about books I want to read #92"
https://itinerantlibrarian.wordpress.com/2022/08/24/items-about-books-i-want-to-read-92/

A look at some books I was adding to my #TBR at the time.

#books #reading #AlchemicalThoughts #writing #Bookstodon

#ICYMI what I was writing on my #blog on a day like today back in 2022.

> "Items about books I want to read #92"
https://itinerantlibrarian.wordpress.com/2022/08/24/items-about-books-i-want-to-read-92/

A look at some books I was adding to my #TBR at the time.

#books #reading #AlchemicalThoughts #writing #Bookstodon

We made it easy to join the fight for libraries at action.everylibrary.org

#library #libraries #read #reading #book #books #librarylove #author #publiclibrary #literature #lit

#books #reading

@nwbt I do not think that 'Uncentering The Earth' was particularly successful so I expect you will be able to pick up an used copy for a pretty penny.

#Reading #Science #Astronomy #History #Histodons #HistSci #Nonfiction #Biography #Books #Bookstodon #Booksky

@ajcain @nwbt @internetarchive

Thank you for providing the link.

#Reading #Science #Astronomy #History #Histodons #HistSci #Nonfiction #Biography #Books #Bookstodon #Booksky

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜’𝗺 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴: "𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱" 𝗯𝘆 𝗗'𝗮𝗿𝗰𝘆 𝗠𝗰𝗡𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗲 -

Early indigenous classic on reservation life and boarding schools, this has been on my list for some time.

#books #bookreviews #bookworm #readreadread #tbr #tbrpile #tbrlist #quotes #reading #fiction #darcymcnickle #thesurrounded #indigenousliterature #metisliterature #nativeboardingschools #reservationlife

Show that Americans love their libraries!
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@EricBono @nwbt

After reading 'Uncenteriing The Earth' | too felt annoyed to degree. I do not think the book feels well stitched together. From sections on Ptolemy to high school science explanations to the Catholic Inquisition I can see the overarching ideas behind the work; however, I do not know if Vollman is the best person to stitch them together.

#Reading #Science #Astronomy #History #Histodons #HistSci #Nonfiction #Biography #Books #Bookstodon #Booksky

Lets start this week with this great comment on reading as 'backwards immortality':

'He who does not read, at 70 years will have lived only one life, his own!

He who reads, will have lived 5000 years: He was there when Cain killed Abel, when Renzo married Lucia, when Leopardi admired infinity...

Because "Reading is backward immortality."

Umberto Eco

#books @books #reading

h/t Mark Stephens/LinkedIn

The urge to keep all the tabs open is not a recent thing.
Pictured: a 300-year-old library tool that enabled a researcher to have seven books open at once, yet conveniently nearby (Palafoxiana Library, Puebla)
@unmlawlibrary #globalmuseum #library #libraries #reading #history

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300-year-old library tool. Palafoxiana Library, Puebla

📖 🔭

Reading Report

Earlier today I finished reading William T. Vollman's book 'Uncentering The Earth: Copernicus and the Revolutions of the Heavenly Spheres'.

This is the first work authored by Mr. Vollman that I have read. He was recommended to me by an acquaintance who has since passed away. At the time we were discussing works of historical fiction and he recommend books by Mr. Vollman.

After the recommendation I went online to see if I could find anything suitable. To my surprise I found works written by the author to be quite expensive even second hand books. Rather than splashing out on a great deal of money for an author I had never read before I decided to buy the cheapest title I could find hence arriving at 'Uncentering The Earth: Copernicus and the Revolutions of the Heavenly Spheres'.

Have you read this book? What are your thoughts? Do you think that the topic would have been better served by an author who was a well established astronomer explaining the intricacies of the Copernican model?

#Reading #Science #Astronomy #History #Histodons #HistSci #Nonfiction #Biography #Books #Bookstodon #Booksky

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An image of the cover of William T. Vollmann's book 'Uncentering The Earth: Copernicus and the Revolutions of the Heavenly Spheres'.

@nwbt Thank you for replying.

I was considering reading Ice-Shirt first, but I found the cost prohibitive so I ended up with Vollman's offering on Copernicus.

I had difficulty trying to understand the target audience for the book. If the intended reader wants a primer on astronomy or the history of astronomy there are other works out there more suited to the task. I would suggest that the level of mathematical detail and calculation tinkering in the book is above the level of the average mass market book reader.

What were your impressions of the Ice-Shirt? I know it is the first title in a series of books on American history.

#Reading #Science #Astronomy #History #Histodons #HistSci #Nonfiction #Biography #Books #Bookstodon #Booksky

You can support libraries today at action.everylibrary.org

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@cR0w I don’t know if you’re a reader, but “Palaces of the Crow” by Ray Nayler is a really good book. Plus it has crows!

#books #reading #bookstodon

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“Palaces of the Crow” by Ray Nayler

There's a 29-book Robert R. McCammon "Dark Fantasy" bundle on Fanatical: https://www.fanatical.com/en/bundle/robert-mccammon-dark-fantastic-book-bundle

IMHO McCammon's underrated, and under $1 CAD/book is a steal! As if I needed another 28 (I've read *Swan Song* already) books in my Kobo's to-read pile.

#books #reading #DarkFantasy #Horror #RobertRMcCammon